You know what’s strange? - I’m just now realizing - how many times I have literally, physically ran from a man on a dance floor...
Let that sink in… A young woman, at a concert or a party or a club, is dancing with her friends, innocent and unassuming, when she feels a pair of sweaty hands forcefully grab her by the waist in attempt to control her movements. In the same moment, she is pulled backwards so that now, without her consent, her butt is harshly colliding with the stranger’s penis. Violated, disgusted, and/or annoyed, she removes herself from his grip and walks away only to find that the stranger is persistent. She picks up the pace. He follows suit. Uncomfortable, she leaves.
I have no idea how many times this has happened. Not because I have lost count, but because I was never counting. This was normal – an expected symptom of my female form bending to the music.
How many times has a man gotten angry or threatening towards me for refusing to dance with him? - or more often - angry/threatening towards me because I’ve told him to leave a CLEARLY uncomfortable friend alone?
How many times have women have danced with me to protect me from a creepy male?
How many times have I danced with women to protect them from a creepy male?
Culture is riddled with a poisonous mindset! It runs so deep - the mindset that it is okay to treat women as if they are less.
This vile is not only exemplified in the way that women are often treated, but too in the way that women often receive such treatment – it is bewildering that I never considered before how putrid it is that I cannot expect to dance with my friends without being harassed.
I don’t bring that up in an effort to say that the victims of sexual harassment are ever in ANY way in ANY amount at fault – They’re not, no matter the circumstances. I bring it up in an effort to convey how truly deeply this toxic mindset runs.
If you’ve ever contributed to victim blaming/shaming, please consider the above notes.
The truth seems so obvious now, but it wasn’t to me for years. Now that I am awake, I will use my voice to affirm other women and their stories.